Don’t expect to find joy and rest in anything that grieves your soul and upsets divine grace. Joy is a gift of God to our soul…
And if you dishonor it, it will not come back, unless you feel sorry and repent with much pain for every sin you committed. But what is the point of thoughtlessly chasing away the dove of grace, and then with regret and many sighs seeking it back again?
Many people have chased joy away by foolishly dishonoring it, and then it never came back.
Elder Joseph the Hesychast, Monastic Wisdom, Forty-ninth Letter, p. 23